New Beginnings Advocate Pillows

'All in favor of turning our back on the past say ‘aye'.'

'You've got to be brave now... I'm not going to leave you in 2009!'

New divorcee says to former husband: 'Bye now, pay later.'

The fate of the emigrant

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Bouncing baby

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

Springtime rabbits.

"This little piggy goes to the market. . ."

Janus 2021

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

Off to a bad start.

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'