Network Whiz Prints

'It's not who you know or what you know that helps you succeed. It's what you know about who you know, that you can hold over their head, that will help you succeed.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Evolution.

Multi-tasking.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

Otto the SmartyCar!

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Technologies and distance classes

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'