Network Whisperer Mugs

"You need to disconnect for awhile and unwind."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Jack of all trades

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Plug Me In Stupid

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Yeah, I've been radio-tagged by scientists, so once a week, out of spite, I do something irrational just to mess up their data..."

Alternative Accountants

"You've heard of that new virus that's been going around? It's me!"

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

'He's had too much exposure to wi-fi.'