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I took up antkeeping.

'Not that net!'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Is this the new input device?'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

Hot Towel Web Service

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

'He expects so much from me but his data is flawed.'

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

Your hands are cold...

'This baby has lots of memory.'

'Jerry's a cryptic sort of guy,'

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

'Oh no. A Y1K virus.'

'Lying down on the job again, Crenshaw?'

'May I go home now?'

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

Join my network?

'Have you considered buying a new computer?'

'Is all you can say?' - 'No but that's all I think you'll understand.'

Texas Programmers AC Members Club: Ride the wild mainframe.