Nerdy Mathematician Pillows

Math/After Math

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Pi Ala Mode.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Maths is fun!'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

Pi fight!

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'But the short term view is very good.'

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'