Neon Sign Lover T-Shirts

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"Do I have to go out again!?"

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"Beware of God"

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Correct Spelling Lane.

"I feel like I'm persecting."

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It will keep you safe."

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

"I'm going to the store—do we need anything?"

"Charles, would you be my vintner?"

Liquor Store: Lean to Open.

Another Big-Headed Cartoonist

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

Guy lost in the desert, sign says, You DEFINITELY Aren't Here!!

School - Equilateral triangles ahead sign.

Entering September

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

"It was a freezing winter night & I could hardly see a thing. Luckily, I was wearing my Fluorescent thong."

"What do my stars say today?"

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

'You want a sign that reads 'the end of the world tomorrow'...when do you want to have it?'

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

Intuition Failure

Laundry in the 80's.

Count Dracula as a child

Sleep!

Cancer/crab

I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper. What's that? It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves. I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything. They say if you love your work, you never work a day in your life. HOJ. To each his own, I guess. I love everything about shopping. From the seductive open sign, to the supple checkout lines.

Leo/lion

Don't Even Think of Insider Trading