Neighborly Jokester Pillows

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Clandestine cows.

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

Acme Flyswatters.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'He's training for a career in law.'

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Robinia Floribunda

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'

'It's just a bit of pond weed tied to my bottom but it makes me feel so much younger!'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

"Sister Maria has a bet every day...she has a habit!"

'I just remembered something! We forgot to put 'open bar' on the invitations!'

See, son? That's what happens when you don

"Have you seen my sticks?"

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

Dog Work Ethics

Don't feed the bears vegetables.