Neighbor Observer T-Shirts

'They do have a dog next door but I've been assured he doesn't bark.'

"I just never realised how sad our neighbours were until this lock down!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"First time pruning?"

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Duck Hunt

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

What does aloof mean?

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."