Neighbor Noise Warrior Gifts

$1: Family Secrets

Cat and Broom

"Trust me – she's a witch."

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

'Be careful what you say around Marjorie...'

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

"Let me through, I'm a busybody."

The unmistakable face of a man who lives beneath a Tuba enthusiast.

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

'We'll have a job finding another gardener as dedicated as old Tom.'

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

How often do the planes fly overhead..?

Nice to see you!

"My doctor advised me to give up the drums....he lives in the flat below me."

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

"They said it was the natural resting position of the telescope, but it still creeps me out."

"I'm trying to take a nap so hold down the racquet!"

'Why is their grass always greener than ours?'

Tangled wires.

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

If his animals should stray - let him know by all means...but don't be vindictive.

'We'll be putting you in the 'crabby neighbor', demographic.'

"You'll see it when it's done."

'Isn't it enough to keep up with the Joneses - must we hover over them?'

Clickbait Road - Number 7 will shock you

"I liked it better when we kept up with the Jones's instead of looking down on them."

“I don’t want to do an at-home workout if no one else is.”

'You've tried out your new tree stand long enough, Ted - you're starting to freak out the neighbors!'

Lawnmower protestor