Negotiation Guru Pillows

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

"Some of us negotiate our contracts better than others."

'They're backing down from pigs flying to Hell freezing over.'

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

Witness the Slap & Tickle School of Negotiation.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"