Negotiating Custody T-Shirts

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the computer equipment.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Changing Minds

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

"May I remind you that we can always go with duck eggs."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'There's enough of us...we can take them!'

Round 2 (office meeting being conducted like a boxing match).

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

We all know the negotiation table, but how about the negotiation chair?

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

'My final offer.'

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'Don't let it throw you - It's just a negotiating tactic.'

'All right, all right, Hershman, you can go attend the 'improve your negotiating skills' seminar.'

'Any wriggle room?'

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'