Needlecraft Navigator T-Shirts

'I was in the circus before I took up acupuncture.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

Arts and crafts

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I am not asking for directions."

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

Titanic: How's my steering.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"The computer's messed up? How time flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"