Navigating Job Benefits T-Shirts

The job carries 'salary but no health cover' or 'health cover but no salary.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

Labor Day '19

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

Walk the dog.

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

'You go first... after all, you were my mentor.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"I couldn't get you a raise but I did get you a taller chair."

Will work for dental plan.

Companies are slashing employee health care and pension benefits. Cutting, slashing, trimming, eliminating. Look at them go. I feel like I'm watching a great athlete on tv. I'm so inspired! You're one odd duck. Rudy – come hither my overpaid dumpling!

'The employees are angry because the company tennis courts are always busy!' 'LET THEM PLAY GOLF!'

'You're the right man for some other job.'

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

Chester sat quietly as he enjoyed one of the perks that came with his job.

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

'Don't worry, guys, the company daycare will be ready to open in less than a month.'