Navigating First Relationships T-Shirts

"Baldo...me and you...well, we've never been that serious. I mean, we hardly see each other anymore, especially since you got that job."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Sexual chemistry set

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

First love.

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Acme Dating Service

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."