Nautical Novelties Lover Pillows

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Pirate School: 'Today mateys we are going to study the three aarrrsss.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"Port outbound, starboard home."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"The back flip was a nice touch."

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'This is a dolphin friendly boat.'

Alexander Hopson, retired submarine Commanding Officer.

Have a very piratical Birthday

Small Ads. For Sale :- 'Navy Pram'.

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'A middle seat?! Just my luck!'

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

Boating Reflection

'Quick, everyone back to the center!'

Solemn reference is made to Mr. Bunsby

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

A Jack Tar

Mariner tells a lady with a high bonnet 'you should never carry so much sail in a sou-wester'

"Yes, it's me, Captain Nemo. I've gone corporate."

"Dammit, he's adorable!"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

'Nothin' to worry about, girly. The sugar will rot all his teeth out by the time he gets to us.'

"Because the sea can be a cruel mistress."