Naughty Puppy Negotiator T-Shirts

"Hello, Sainsbury's? Do you sell dog food for very naughty puppies? No? Well, I certainly don't blame you. Thank you, Sainsbury's, and goodbye."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

Cookie Thief

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"Sit!"

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'Let's arbitrate.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

What they're thinking.

Hang Time Fido

'It certainly sounds like a fantastic offer, but I'm not supposed to answer the phone.'