Naughty Corner Strategists Gifts

'If you're going to draw on the wall... do it behind the sofa.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Cat in a tank...

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

Targets

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'

In Disguise.

'It's the simple things.'

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

Furtive Milking

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

Cat Trap,