Nature Pillows

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Pass that."

"You slept with her, didn't you?"

"The meaning of life is cats."

"As long as it's woolly I don't ask questions."

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"What have you done with Dr. Millmoss?"

Lemmings jumping off a cliff and one has a parachute.

"Well, you heard wrong. I do not collect nuts. Look, I can't get into this with you right now ? I'm with a patient."

By Strategic Use of Postcards, Thoreau Manages to Keep Walden Pond Unspoiled

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"My question is: Are we making an impact?"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

'My feet are killing me. I have twenty corns and thirty bunions.'

Mountain-bike Goat.

Canada Geese

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'Smile - it's Van Gogh.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"Hold on a second. I have no idea where my ears are."

"You know, for a gazelle, you're an awful klutz!"

"Wow! Whose idea was the cheese log?"

"You're kidding. I thought it was Friday."

"That's an old photo."

"You're not going to put that there, are you?"

"This would be a great place to put a huge city."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'Tell me more about this 6-week plan you tried.'

A bear steals maple syrup for his pancakes.

'...And this is my man cave.'

Lone Wolf

Hanukkah tree

Go Back to New York

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'