Nature's Jeweler T-Shirts

'I guess you could say the church garden is God's bling.'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Medicinal plants

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Will you be mine?

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

I think I have a gilt complex.

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"I need something that says ‘You were right about Trump.’"

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

Man and bird

"Mum, I've heard that Faberge eggs are very valuable. What kind of animal is a Faberge?"

The last laugh. . .'Hmmm!'

Jewellers - Show her you love her.

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

Spiv

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."