Natural Remedy Buff T-Shirts

'Milton had an interesting side-effect from taking St John's wort.'

Prize vegetables.

Plant Lady

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Garden Goddess.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Get on with it!

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Plant Parenthood...

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Flan-eating bacteria

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Poinsettia

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

Balding gnomes

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'