Natural Fibres Gifts

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

Spinning Wheel

"You're getting too much fiber."

"It's the worse case of flatulence I've ever witnessed!"

'You have good taste in natural material usage, but your electrical work is substandard.'

Man breaking wind infront of neighbours.

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

CBD Oil for Neurotics

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

"You lied to us. You said you had six years experience."

"I hate to admit it. I'm taking bran and I'm feeling better."

"The D's stand for 'dandy,' Mom, and the C means 'copacetic.'"

'...but if it's a business trip why are you taking your fly pole?'

Nudist Colony/Unbrushed Hair Colony

"We may want to review the fibre levels in our diet..."

Mushrooms Fashion

"Don't believe a word he says, he told me that his sister is 150 and has just gone out dancing. WITH HER FATHER!"

'Isn't it great that we've reached the stage in our relationship when we're no longer embarrassed to break wind.'

"Let me see you look me in the eye and deduct that?"

'Are you trying to make a fool of me?' - 'Of course not. I'd never interfere with nature.'

'Yes dear, everything here at work is going well. Can I call you back, I have something, I mean, someone on the other line.'

"Large coffee and three bran muffins...hopefully to go!"

'You know, Eno, it's ok if you lie a little on your online dating profile.'