Natural Comedian Pillows

'Are you trying to make a fool of me?' - 'Of course not. I'd never interfere with nature.'

He always wanted to go into medicine and now he's 200,000 tongue depressors!

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Extreme miming"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Physician tending a mummy.

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Try me/try me/try me...

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

I told you we were late!

"Get out of my face!"

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Pray for me.'

Slug Bait- snails love it