Nationalist Narrative Follower Mugs

Otto von Bismarck

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

Grimm's Reality Tales.

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Three little pigs-mortgage.

Thomas Keneally

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'I hate these cliche situations!'

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

Anecdote Magazine

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"Guilty on all counts, Your Honor. However, with more attention to character development, pacing and tone, we're confident the defense will find a much wider audience and a winning verdict in the appeal phase!"

Twitter protection

"Sorry, but your story contains way too much reality!"

''What I Did During My Summer Vacation -- A Coming of Age Story....''

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"Late, as usual."

Second Coalition Attempting to Push the French out of Italy

'He was shown for 15 seconds on that National Geographic TV coverage last month...'

"He says he won't wear a mask."

Scottish Independence

"Nato is brain dead!"

"If you want something done right, you have to lead a military coup."

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"I was doing ok before the investigation

I was trying to rob e the stagecoach and somehow got signed up for a credit card account!

'Sorry Tin Man you have been replaced by a Samsung D800.'

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

'I bumped into Michael Gove.'