National Coach Pillows

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Go team!

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Go! Means NOW!

Time Is Money

The trauma of losing.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Punt Cake

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."