National Anthem Analyst T-Shirts

God Bless America/Godless America

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

We never roam anymore.

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"As Tom gets nostalgic to Don McLean's 'American Pie,' baby Charles utters his first words... Too long."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Praying for a goal assist.

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

'Yes, I know the Beatles said 'all you need is love,' but they also said 'just give me money.''

Sissy Spacek

'100% Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes'

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Look! A brave man using the medium of dance to protest against the fascist coronavirus measures of the government!"

I know why your insults aren't bothering anyone. Tell me meathead. We live in an insult culture. People are accustomed to getting insulted, and by professional critics. Simone Cowell, Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Laura

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

Schenker discovers the true essence of humanity

'I opted for fame instead of riches and ended up with indifference.'

"It's for an upcoming TV documentary I don't want to be seen in."

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

Singer

'I hate these crossover shows!'

"Of course, this prediction has a plus or minus margin of error of 80% or 90%."

'I need a spell to vanquish Harry Potter hype.'

'I'd hate to be locked up with a bunch of strangers for months on end, wouldn't you?'

'Call our lawyers! This Cruise guy is giving us a bad name.'

CONSPIRACY, INC: 'Right now we're looking for the cryptic message in E.I.E.I. O.'

Using books to support Television