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Anecdote Magazine

"Listen closely. This is going to be vintage Eddie."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

''What I Did During My Summer Vacation -- A Coming of Age Story....''

"Sorry, but your story contains way too much reality!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Distractions Of The Great

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Iris Murdoch

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

The intellectual.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Thomas Hardy

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.