Narrative Critic Pillows

"Guilty on all counts, Your Honor. However, with more attention to character development, pacing and tone, we're confident the defense will find a much wider audience and a winning verdict in the appeal phase!"

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'I hate these cliche situations!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Thomas Mann.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

First Novels.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Blue Stockings

"Now I really hate poetry."

Why we need poetry. . .

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

German Expressionist Breakfast

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

The Proust of Twitter

Dating an English Major

"Oh, this old thing?"

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"I want you to meet What's-His-Name, the much-misunderstood writer."