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"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'On second thought, perhaps it would look better if your hand was tucked into your jacket.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Sabrage!

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

The Death of Marat

Napoleon marches off alone

'I could have sworn I put the Waterloo battle plan in here.'

"I don't see this as a rejection of all thing French."

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

Napoleon 'Snuffed Out' by the Russians

The Wellington Statue.

Napoleon in Therapist's Room.

"So your therapist thinks you're suffering from delusions of grandeur. But just to be on the safe side, let's invade the Low Countries before they side with Britain."

'Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon?'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"We´ve licked the Prussians, but how do we convince my therapist?"

Duke of Wellington

"There are plenty of domestic issues that need to be addressed."

"Perhaps history will remember him differently."

'If we beat Napoleon, do you think when they invent passenger trains they will name a station after this lot?'

Napoleon film

Messrs. Victor Hugo and Emile Girardin would like to raise Prince Louis on a shield which is not quite balenced

"I have to go wee-wee."

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"

"See? That's how it starts, with the sniffles."

The French Are Fielding a Back Four

"Last time I go on a long haul trip"