Nap-time Nurturer Mugs

'Do you really need a bedtime story before every nap?'

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'At lone at last.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Mad about Roses!

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

Egg Buggy

"Delia, there is no such thing as the boogeyman. Now climate change … that is real."

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

How cats see their home

"...For most of us, work has become home, and home has become work!"

'Well, Mary, you've already screwed up you first two kids. This could be you last chance...'

'Two thousand seedlings - and I can't bring myself to throw any of them out.'

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

"Narrative play is dead."

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

"Support the head!"

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

Why it's called child-rearing.

IIt isn't so bad. I feel about how I used to after watching TV all day.'

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

I got a few things to help me sleep. A breathing strip, earplugs, eye mask and a super pillow. Nighty night, honey. Now I can't sleep.

"If sleeping were an Olympic sport, Harry would be a champion!"

'That's strange. No ingredient labelling anywhere!'

Labour ward scene: 'Do you not think it's a little soon to be leaving him with his gradparents?'