Nanny State Critic Pillows

'Why am I wearing a helmet?...Why aren't you wearing one?!'

"Good boy."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'