Name Origin Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Dad, where did you get the name Baldo?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Tom Cruise

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

What really became of the boy named Sue.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

Ovalifolium Longifora

Male On Sunday

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

Backdoor

Mr Long and Miss Short.

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

"These are my sons, Brayden, Caden, Aiden, and Maiden."