Mythical Matchmaker Mugs

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.

"Opposites attract?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Real Estate Personals

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Acme Dating Service

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

Carbon Dating Agency

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."