Mystical Mentors T-Shirts

the company is cutting back our team's training budget.'

Asking out a palm reader.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Buddhist photo albums,

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'It started out as meditation, but now it's quiet desperation!'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"Beware of start-ups with a negative cash flow."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

'I just feel so used all the time.'

Computer literate Monk

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Client-centered Therapy.

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Understand Briggs, it is not enough to fail - others must succeed.'

Addiction Research Centre.

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

Psychic near sign: Madam Zoe. Palms read futures told weather forcasts given.

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

"How dare you!"

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

"Just keep going for 12 months."

Calendars before Jesus.

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'