Mystical Market Watcher Pillows

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on . . .'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Standard And P****d.

Travel looks strong!

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

'We're counting on inflation.'

The bailout.

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

Chinese Stock Market Crash

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Bank Ratings Lowered.

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

Exchange Rate.

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'