Mystic Moviegoer T-Shirts

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Cat Seance

You are very important to me!

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

Now playing. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs II. If I'm too scared, can we cuddle. It's why I make him see these horrible movies.

Kissing at the Movies

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

"Just let me finish this episode."

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

Christmas-Plex

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

"No love, your Daddy isn't Spider-Man. Your Daddy is a Father For Justice."

"Sit down Fred!"

Cult films!

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

"Gawd! All that sex and violence - and that was just on the front row!"

'And now for BEST MOVIE ERODING AMERICA'S MORAL VALUES...'

"I bet they filmed that here."

'Waste of twenty quid.'

'You realize of course everything here is G-rated.'

Mantis chick flicks

Criminal Teenager.

"One for 'Romance in Paradise' and one for two hours in hell."

They killed the monster!

"If there's anything meaningful or worthwhile in this movie, the whole evening will have been for nothing."

"With this film, I finally enter the front ranks of American moviegoers."