Mystery Party Gifts

Crime Writer's Society.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'One eye of newt or two?'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Face painting by numbers.

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

"You two seem oddly suited."

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

Tiger Costume

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Snail Man

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Masquerade

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

Honey Costume

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do that again, but cuter."