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'I don't know why, with a face that ugly he has to underline it.'

The mustache of spite and revenge

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Movember

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Street Organ - Monkey

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"If I put mustaches on all of us, we look more like a team."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Edward Elgar.

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

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'New Barbeque.'

"You don't think you're bringing that mustache in here do you?!"

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"You must be new around here, pardner."

Facial hair continental drift.

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

Friedrich Nietzsche

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Two men discussing thier moustaches

Old School Mustaches

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

'What magnificent whiskers My wife would never let me grow anything like THAT'

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"That's remarkably self aware of you."

A magician saws in half an octopus