Music Production Pillows

Music producers.

'Playing out of tune doesn't make it a remix!'

Diplo

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

Composer

"I never remix business with pleasure!"

Recording Studio

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

Music Technology

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

A Symphony of Penguins

Showbiz Awards

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

I could have danced all night!

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Can You Spot the Differences?

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Mardi Gras

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Baby Piano

Producer, Director and Novelizer.