Museum Maverick Gifts

Daddy was a great artist...

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Orchestra.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'Play it again, Sam.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

The sunglasses.

Rogue elephant

'I told you Nick's an absolute scream.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Carbon Dating

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'I say we try it.'

The hall of bad ideas.