Voodoo Darts. . .
#mumz4lyfe T-Shirts
"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."
"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."
'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'
"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"
Whoa
"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."
"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"
No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).
"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"
"I just reached 1000 jumps."
"Today in school we learned how to glue!"
Why moms make bad refs.
'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'
'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'
"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"
"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."
"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."
"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."
'Peekaboo!'
"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."
Baby on Board
"You're going to freeze to death! Put your coat back on."
"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"
"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."
Whoa
Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!
"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."
'I think it may be a limited edition.'
'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'
"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."
A Mom's Purse
"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."
'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."