Multitasking Market Enthusiast T-Shirts

Artizan Pickles, Medicinal Jams & Sage Real Estate Advice

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Why markets crash.

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

Jumping Wall Street.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

Homeschooling

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Studying and technology

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'