Multilingual Explorer T-Shirts

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

Coffee Menu

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'The customer is always right...'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."