Mulch Maverick Gifts

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"Mulch madness"

Beginning Yarder.

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

"Mrs. Dillof ... Mr. Dillof?"

"Hey, Bob, did you hear? It's summer."

"What an anti-climax. There are no official plans to declare the birth canal open!"

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

Garage "Now then, squire, what would you like first - the bad news, or the really, really bad news?"

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

Compass needed to navigate lawn mower in long grass.

"And I'd like to ask my mud-slinging opponent if he's been faithful to that moose he married."

Mohawk grass cutting

"I escaped."

"The homeowners association called to remind you there's no shirtless lawnmowing past age forty-five."

Bull chases farmer after being milked.

'You are to bring in the whole tractor, not just the part being recalled.'

"Why do I get the feeling you were in the mood to hunt when you redecorated?"

Mulch ado about nothing.

"I'm headed for the artificial butters. You?"

NO DOG GOLF