Moving Into A New Smart Home T-Shirts

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"I know she has a smart home, but does she have to refer to ours as stupid?"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Are you sure you have everything wired correctly? Every time you try to change the channel, I hear the toilet flush."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Man's best friends."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'