Mountain Moses T-Shirts

"It's a pretty stiff climb up here - Next time, could I just PRAY?"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Camping.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Free why-fi.”

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

You Have 1 New Messages

'This was to have been Hillary's greatest moment...'

Alpine Pipe

"But am I happy? Very."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

Mountain escalator.

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

Skiing

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"Oh U! The German periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."