Motivation Seminar T-Shirts

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

How leaders fail

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

Courage. Love.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"We're trying a new incentive program. Bacon?"

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

Ego Increasing School

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'The nice thing is we can use real carrots as incentives with them.'

Thinking and thinking backwards.

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"You can do it!"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

Economic Conference.

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

"Before we review our plans for the next quarter, I thought you all may want to keep in mind a little advice from my advisory panel."

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

'Can I get an AAAAY-OHHH?'

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

The Self Esteem Seminar had really helped him.

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

'And remember - failure is not an option...oh, hang on, yes it is.'

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."