Motivation Maverick Pillows

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Gene Therapy

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

Boy who has been to the dentist

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

Conformity

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

DoctorGuru - 'Do you have an appointment?'

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

Don't sweat the small stuff

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

"Where is everybody going?"

'Manic depression therapy clinic.'

"Be the ball. Be the pins. Be the lane. Be the shoes."

"Resolutions? pfffft. . . just chewed mine up."

'Surviving the workout is nothing compared to surviving the support group.'

"It's a buy-to-think."

"The new motivational posters have been unpopular, yet effective."

'I don't want a piece of the rock. I want money.'

"You experience violent mood swings from elation to despair? That's normal for a boat owner."