Mornings Aficionado T-Shirts

'Dailey's get their toaster back?'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Non-Power Breakfast

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"Business is so bad even my hotcakes aren't selling like hotcakes."

1,572 Performances.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"A votre sante!"

'Do you want toast with that?'

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

'Household water use'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"I'm more of a day owl."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Munch Master.

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Cafe society / Nescafe society.

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

Room service.