Morning Rush Master Pillows

'... I know. But if I'd taken the time to put them on, I would've missed my bus.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

You have the worst spring breath.

Running Latte

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Are those my slippers?!"

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"Give us a minute, honey."

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Dang it."

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

Alarm clock.

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'Yeah...I don't have a job either. And like you, I am only continuing this routine to keep my wife quiet.'

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.