Morning Rush Master Pillows

'... I know. But if I'd taken the time to put them on, I would've missed my bus.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Running Latte

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Are those my slippers?!"

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"Give us a minute, honey."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'Yeah...I don't have a job either. And like you, I am only continuing this routine to keep my wife quiet.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.