Morbidly Curious Pillows

"Boy I like the sound of requiem music..."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'Can I get a box for this?'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Death Watch

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

"Ouch! You’re killing me!"

"No wonder we could get tickets."

Death model.

"Spoiler alert! You won't be needing those warm clothes."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Pretty good turnout for a Monday."

Intensive Care in the Community

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

'Oh-oh, rigor mortis... that ain't good.'

Undertaker's Staff Party (drinks are on the hearse).

'Barlow must be the dessert.'

"Mom, Dad – this is Gloria."

Mark Casey 1966 - 1998: Thirty-seventh idiot to have the crap stomped out of him in Pamplona.

With smoking banned, what left for me to look forward to? Just drinking myself to death?

"Technically, it's not your time yet, but we were sick of your complaining."

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'My life coach said don't wait for what you want, just take it, so I did and look where it got me.'

"Here, if you don't believe me, listen for yourself!"